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Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not loveWhich alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.

Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle’s compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

My dog Julie passed away late Saturday night. She was diagnosed 6 months ago with cancer, which we decided not to give any aggressive treatment for. For the last few weeks she was struggling to do very normal things like urinating, etc., and we noticed her really starting to suffer a few days before Saturday.

I got home from work around 5pm and noticed she wasn’t really wanting to get up from where she was sleeping, and I also couldn’t get her to eat anything. I left for a little while and got back around 11, and she was dying. It was very hard being with her during the last hours of her life, up until about 20 minutes before she died it was not very peaceful. She was still mentally alert and in a lot of pain, and there was really nothing I could do except sit with her. We had some very meaningful interaction at this time, which I am thankful for. It almost got to the point where I considered putting her down myself, but there was a sudden point where her heart rate dropped to almost nothing, her breathing calmed, and it was obvious she was going to go soon. It took about 20 minutes from this point and she passed away.

It was a very hard thing for me to sit with her during all this and be virtually helpless. Human nature is to be active and try and find a way to fix what is going on around you, especially in the face of such suffering. I believe God is wanting to teach me some kind of life lessons through what happened, but I can’t quite formulate the thoughts just yet.

Julie was the best dog I have ever had. She was faithful and loved me individually over other humans. She never forgot me even through periods of 2 months of not seeing her at all. She saved a family member from possible death at least once that I know of, when she discovered a large copperhead (about 4 feet long and 3 inches in diameter) underneath a bale of pine straw my dad was about to distribute. She slayed it within seconds. Snake-killing was a favorite pastime of Julie’s, Dad and I have seen her kill scores of them while fishing or working outside.

She was very good with other people, especially children, and rarely initiated fights with other dogs. Almost always when she fought with dogs was when the other dog was the aggressor, and in her mind she was defending us her family. I thought it especially touching on the night she died, when the other dogs came and just sat about 5 feet away from her while she was dying. They were visibly upset and uncomfortable at what was going on, and since she died the mood of our dogs has been very morose.

We almost didn’t keep Julie when we originally got her. We put out an ad in the paper when she was found on the side of the road, and someone answered the call and was planning on coming to get her. I was 12 at the time, and found out someone was coming to get the dog. I took her and locked myself and her in a room and refused to come out unless we could keep the dog. My parents submitted to my will and the rest is history.

Julie was great, and she will be sorely missed, but always remembered.

-JR

Hey folks, Merry Christmas to all my homeys!

Got back from the beach Monday night, had a very good trip. Lots of relaxing and girl-chasing with good friends, which was perfect. The van we drove down blew out the torque converter seal in the transmission, and all the transmission fluid came flying out of it while going down the highway. We were able to get into a gas station and have it towed, and ended up renting a Toyota Highlander to get back to Greenwood. Good times though

I did all my christmas shopping in either Barnes and Noble or Best Buy this year, so lots of books and dvds are going to be unwrapped hehe… its good though, reading is an excellent thing to promote.

Julie (my dog) is very sick with cancer. It has spread over most of her body, and the main tumor is blocking her urinary tract almost completely. Last night she wouldn’t eat or drink anything I gave her, and I was pretty much convinced she was a goner, but she hung in there. Today she was a lot better, and mom got her to eat some canned dog meat. Hopefully she won’t suffer much, but we are glad to have her for a few more days at least. It’s definitely at the point where I say last goodbyes to her every time I leave the house, which is sad…

Julie’s condition got me thinking: I really haven’t experienced death in a personal way. Nobody that I truly love and am close to has ever passed, really not even a pet. I have to pray that God will prepare me emotionally to deal with the death of family members, because I tend to really take goodbyes hard, even when its just when somebody moves or something like that.. I remember when the Thompson’s moved to Hawaii or when Nikola moved to NYC, those were some of the most emotional times I can remember. To say goodbye to someone close to you permanently is way different, and I am not looking forward to dealing with it. I realized today more than ever that I am blessed to have all my grandparents still alive. I hope to bear this in mind as I see my grandparents from now on. Still though, death is still so unfamiliar to me. It’s uncomfortable not knowing what it’s like.

I hope everyone has a relaxing and belly-filling Christmas!

-Professor Hawke